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First of all, i want to say Sorry, because i use computer interpeter for text of my book. English isn't native language for me. I can talk with you guys, but text is really difficult to translate manually. This book about near future in Russia. Sometimes it's full of stereotypes and some manners which are hard to understand for people from USA, Europe and ohter world. Almost everything creations in cyberpunk jenre starting like it's actually happened. In 30\* year or so. No one talks how it started. I try to do it. Hope that U will like it.* Thanks! Have a nice day! p.s. I'm always in touch on twitter, facebook and etc. Actually since yesterday on Patreon, Lol.
Anonymity is an impersonal property by the meaning of the adjective; lack of individuality, originality.
I would like to be born earlier, say, in the eighties and nineties, and somewhere in Europe or the USA. The point is not that I am not a patriot, but that it was at this time that progress made leaps and bounds all over the world, it was then that the concept of "globalization" became a symbol of the word "progress". No joke, the flourishing of car production, a breakthrough in aircraft construction, the beginning of the computer era ... Of course, the Soviet Union took an active part in this, only there is a significant factor that would not allow me to enjoy the above to the fullest. The union died in 1991 and hard times came for the inhabitants of the entire post-Soviet space. I could only stand on the sidelines of all this, remembering the first Nintendo, SEGA, PC and other things that were attributes of the life of adolescents in those days. We were shoved from blue screens, as a given, that everywhere and the grass is greener than the trampled parking lot in front of the house, and the sun shines somewhere brighter there. The corridors of the educational building of the institute, in which I studied since 2020, looked more like the ruins of an ancient civilization. On the walls there were many portraits of scientists from past years, those who seriously looked at students who did not know what they want from life and why they went to a technical university at all. With the advent of the Internet to the general public, everyone decided that now you can learn from any corner of the world, read books and perform other useful activities. What actually happened? But in fact, people bare all their vices, the traffic of sites with 18+ content is much higher than that of a site with physical and technical content, which is remembered when writing term papers or theses. The group of students standing in front of room 203 was no exception. If you look at them from the outside, you can understand what this passage about sites of a narrow focus was about. Here is Maxim, he is dressed in tight trousers, a purse hangs on his shoulder, the key to a fresh BMW is in his hand, next to him is a pretty girl in a skirt with a plaid and a white blouse. She smells of some kind of perfume, from which the nose clogs up and the eyes begin to water. She communicates with him, practically dumping her bust out, which he willingly uses. But why should he - a resident of the capital, who already in life everything worked out from the start, a girl from Ryazan province, who came to conquer Moscow - is unclear. First of all, it is not clear to Kirill and Mishka, the two ringleaders of the group, they live in the same room in a hostel and come to the institute in broken-down Zhiguli car. How many years have passed, and these piles of iron still plow the vastness of the universe. The guys do not boast about it, they work part-time in the delivery of pizza and sushi. The work is difficult in places, but if they are here, then they survived. They came from the Orenburg region in the hope of gaining a foothold here, who brought whom - we still need to think, but one thing I can say for sure, everyone needs friends, which means they will not be lost. They are standing with Vit'ka, a resident of the Moscow region, and therefore not in the hostel. The non-rubber dorms in Non-rubber city are beauty. And what he spends, like many of the group, two hours on the road, few people care. I stood in the corner and crammed notes. The rest of the group worried me a little, because I practically did not communicate with them, only on institutional matters. There were a total of twelve people, and in fact almost twenty heads were enrolled in the first year ... - Hey, Kit, look, - said Mishka, who came up to me, nodding at Max. - I don’t see what to look at,- I looked up from the notes for a second and again buried myself back. -She’ll strangle him with her airbags now,- he continued. - Well, at least then Maxim will die happy, I suppose. - It's already good to cram, the last exam. And then - final exams are handed over, and - freedom. Good already. You have everything on the ointment with the teacher, - Kirill jumped cheerfully. - On "ointment" does not mean that I will not have to answer questions and take the test part. And there is a commission from all over the department. - Listen, it's good to fill in, well, - Vitya joined us, - the whole department adores you. The one who needs to worry is her, - he nodded again at Max's interlocutor, - her whole brain will now fall out into the street, and by the age of thirty it will sag to the navel. It’s not the "same coat" now. - Not understood?! Have you checked, or what? - Mishka and Kirill responded in unison, bulging their eyes at Vitya. - What's the difference whether I checked it or not. I'm just as uninteresting to her as you two are, - He answered. - No, no, no, come on in more detail here, - said Mishka, folding his arms over his chest, which made his shirt start to crack at the seams. The guys got stronger from physical work. - Yes, a couple of years ago, I arrived at the institute in my aunt's car. She lives in Moscow, near Sadovoe ring, - began Vitya. - Well, I remember, she seems to have a Mercedes E-class. We rode at night, - with their conversation, they did tear me away from repeating the material. - Well, - he continued, - my aunt was leaving for Cyprus for two weeks to rest. She loves me, she cannot have children, so she spoils her nephew. So she said: "Here are the keys to the house, here are the keys to the car. Simple equipment is harmful." I already refused, but she did not accept objections. We rode with you on the third day, and at the end of the week, this madam approaches, - he nodded towards Max, - and it began, everything is the same, the chest is protruding, hints and so on. - And then what ?! - asked Kiril. - Next, I collected a scholarship, borrowed it from you, and went for a walk. And that, then it seemed to me, the girl is not bad. We went to Cafe, walked around Zaryadye guide-park. Word for word, we ended up at my aunt’s house, and I’m not taking her to my area. Well, that's all, as they say in the novels. - And the details? - put in Mishka, - Let's paint, otherwise we see the object, the fantasy works, but here it is. - There will be no details, I'm talking about the bed in the bed, where you can't get, Misha. I can only say that next week after, we did not get out of it. And then my aunt arrived, and I again returned to my mother in the village. And she said, "let's go for a drive, and let's go to you." Well, I said that I live in a village near Yegoryevsk. She even threatened to declare to write, they say, I forced her all week ... It's good that the threats remained so. - What are we going to do, Max is swimming, apparently, - I said, looking at how our friend's cheeks melt and his eyes grow cloudy. - Don't piss, Keith. Look here, - Mishka winked and confidently walked towards the couple. - Mishka, you would at least wash the dirt from under your nails!- Kirill shouted after him, to which he was sent with his middle finger over his shoulder. - Let's see how the matter ends, do not distract him, - I asked Kirill. It is worth making a digression here. Maxim was the son of the head of a department of some multinational corporation. He was not a typical daddy's son, he did not shine with intelligence, but he was not stupid either. He was also not a spoiled major. He dressed modestly, but tastefully, for the first two courses he took the metro, then moved with the help of his father to a second-hand German car. In the first year, we helped each other, all five, and on that one we became friends. When we could have tied a few lines of code together, Max's father started throwing hack for us. Also, he asked to help his younger talent. Who would have thought that from the fourth year the talent itself would be interested in everyone and the money of his father would be spent by all of us on a joint revelry, now in the hostel, then in the country. But we have postponed something. By the way, Max was always ashamed of his father's dachas and loved our simple dachas, in which there was nothing but a house and a bathhouse. And about the fact that we all slept - anywhere, I will not tell. The father gave Max a new car only the other day, when he realized that his son deserved a gift for the end. The death of Vitya's father brought us even closer, it seems, in his third year ... His father was a strong man who himself left the city closer to the earth. He started a household and so on ... We turned out to be the healthiest foreheads, and carried the coffin to the cemetery. It so happened that he and his mother had few loved ones, and even those old people. Oncology did not ask whom to pick up. Vitya did not live with his aunt, although she always had a room ready for him. He told her: "Who will I leave my mother to?" So we were friends with our five all the time. In the meantime, Mishka confidently approached the couple, taxied behind Max, shook him by the shoulders, said something, which made Madame's face turn red, and this could be seen even through the foundation, and now they already walked towards us. - Grandmaster, not otherwise, - Kiril said on exhalation. - I suggest everyone go out for a smoke, - I said as the guys approached, and we headed for the stairs. So we, with our motley company, migrated to the entrance to the educational building. The big sign "NO smoking" got an ashen smiley with a mustache, beard, and who was not so cultured, painted what is usually painted on fences in the village. In general, the spirit of student unity was evident here as well. We lit a cigarette with our friendly company. - Well, what, the last exam, eh?- I began. - Yes, finally, and then already tired, the sun is outside, girls in skirts, and we are sitting here, - picked up Max. - Yeah, is it you who fell for the skirt, or just got confused? - I poked him. - Yes, she came, word for word, so, chatter about nothing, and I see that she constantly props her chest with her hands, but the look itself fell there, - Maxim began to make excuses. - Yeah, and when the bodice is removed and stops propping up, I guarantee that you will want to put a basin, as if from a drink. This good will fall, like the bitcoin rate in tenths, and everything will end either with a wedding on a fake pregnancy, or you will pay off so that she does not apply for you, - Vitya continued. - And how do you know, Vitos? You're still a quiet one. Probably, he didn't even hold on to the handle, - Maxim tried to continue the excuse. - The best defense is offense? - Kirill interjected. - Hush, Kir. Max, just the same with her and held on to the handle. Remember the third year, when we rode in my aunt's car. - Let's say. I remember. - So she was gone for two weeks, and we drank one. The second week I was busy with her, or rather, she suggested it herself, and I did not refuse. I ended up borrowing money from you in order to pay off her. As I remember, a shiver breaks through. - So you said that on a wheelbarrow, which he threw as soon as he bought, - Max refused to believe. - As you understand, I didn't buy a car, but paid Madame for services, - Vityok involuntarily grimaced. - Oh, - Max realized, - I apologize, and thanks for the warning. I just lacked the Ryazan milkmaid. - Do not forget about saggy tits, - added Mishka. - Yes, Ryazan milkmaid with sagging tits, - repeated Max and threw out the cigarette butt. We followed suit and returned to the corridor. There were still a couple of minutes before the start of the exam, there were even more people, room 203 was an amphitheater, which made it possible to conduct exams for a large number of students. Organized groups of students crowded, according to my estimates, at least three, which means about fifty people. That's really, wholesale is cheaper. - So, gentlemen graduates! - the head of our department, a woman in years, but with an iron grip, and, moreover, an excellent teacher, came out of the office. - I ask you to take seats in the audience. We are located on the same row, all of our five. As per the precepts, not far, but not close to the commission. If you sit close - you will be in plain sight as a crammer, if from behind - as a gouge. The tactics were working, the answer cheats were prepared in paper, jammers were knocking out the Internet and all kinds of wireless headphones. White noise was reproduced in the headphones, but our Galya (Ryazan milkmaid) was not ready for such a scenario, and upon switching on she began to look around the audience helplessly. We did not gloat, but we did not deprive ourselves of moral satisfaction. Sweating over the ticket, I wondered, what will happen after school? I didn’t understand at all why I was going to become a programmer. I studied a little, something and somehow, but do I see myself in the profession ??? Not sure. Okay, war will tell the plan. I quickly wrote answers to three out of four questions, thought for a long time, but did not win. Okay, one more four, one less. Kiril and Mishka tensed, their foreheads were covered with sweat, but they write something tirelessly. The commission was already minding its own business and paid less attention to us. - Pssss, - Max shouted to me. - What? I replied in a whisper. - After the exam we are going to my village house, to have a carouse. And I do not want to know the refusal. Pass on. Dad threw off the SMS, I didn't have time to say. - So you wrote everything? - You offend! I got a favorite topic. And how many business card-sites we riveted, I will keep silent. So that. On this wonderful note, all students were asked to submit papers. Traditionally, only those with a controversial assessment were personally interviewed. None of our company got into this number, so we loaded into the Maxim's BMW and drove out the City. The Moscow heat, who has been, knows how hot it is in the megalopolis in summer, especially when the changed tiles get hot for the hundredth time, but the breeze is gone. We left the building happy and tired. The presentation of the diplomas was expected in a month, and today two B grades, A grade for Vitya and C grade for Kirill and Mishka. We went out, Max opened a pack of cigarettes that his father had brought him from Cuba, I think "Cohiba", knocked out a cigarette for everyone and gave them a light. Silently we dragged on simultaneously and headed to the car. - So, - Max said sternly, - we don't smoke inside! - I see, - we answered and finished smoking, standing near the apparatus. I sat in front, as the tallest, the rest of the guys were in the back. Mishka was unlucky most of all, he was pushed into the middle, consider that he rode more inconveniently and higher than all those present, and the village-house was already beyond Sergiev Posad. So from time to time on the hummocks our friend switched to falsetto, while the others enjoyed the ride. Father gave Max a five-sreies with many options in the cabin, but not a very voluminous engine, so that there was no desire to drive beyond measure. - Max, are we going to stop by the store? Is there meat, booze? - I asked when we drove onto the Yaroslavl highway, breaking through the Moscow traffic jams. - No, Dad organizes everything. For everyone. There are booze, meat, baths and other joys of life. The whole house is at our disposal, - Max answered calmly and the joyful hubbub of our comrades was heard from the back row. After some time, we drove into the woods, where we turned into an elite village. Someone lived here permanently, while someone here just had a summer residence. The father of our friend belonged to the second type of people. It's easier to do things when you live next to work and Moscow City is just a stone's throw away, then in general it is beyond praise. Max pressed a button and the gate obediently slid to the side. - Wow, a house, - drawled Mishka. - Wow. I saw this in the picture, and even then not often, - Kira echoed. - And you would pay more attention to common girls when my father called us to celebrate the launch of their product on the market, - Max answered. - So you were here? - Yes, we were once, - I answered. - Uh-huh, - said Vityok. There was something to be surprised at. A two-story European-style mansion among trees, with a large veranda on which stood a heavy oak table and chairs. There was also a tennis court at some distance. There was a large garage and a barbecue corner on site. In front of the house there is a lawn with various conifers. Before leaving the car, we smelled the smell of meat. - Apparently, the father of his cook asked to cook everything, so you guys won't be able to leave hungry, - Max began, getting out from behind the wheel. - So we were not going to !! - he heard the chorus from behind, and we left the ship. We decided to go through the house, washing our hands along the way. Heavy oak planks didn't even think to creak when we fell out of the house. These are not modern plastic boards that prick and knock, while crackling like a Chinese bouncy. We went to the table, on which there were already salads, an aperitif was poured into the glasses. We drank. - And what is this sweet muck? - Mishka responded. - This is an aperitif, served before meals, so that you want to crackle more, Mish, - Maxim answered. - Is it like - beer before vodka? Got it, - Kirill responded. - Okay, I propose to start our celebration, otherwise, you never know, you will take whiskey for used oil, - Maxim continued as the owner. - Young people. I am glad to welcome you! - a man in a cook's jacket appeared and began to tell us what dishes were on the table. In addition to the Greek salad, there was a warm tuna salad, and some other appetizers, the names of which I did not remember. From his speech, only Max understood the names, and we sat with our mouths open. Well, Vitya and I understood something, but Kirill and Mishka were sitting, frankly with the lower jaw on the floor. - He's not cursing now? - asked Cyril when the cook left. - No, he told me what was on the table and what would be on the hot. So, if I were you, I would pour it already, graduates! - So we will pour! - Mishka took a bottle of Chivas, poured himself, - Who else? he asked briskly. - Give it to me, - Kiril answered, for which he received his glass of whiskey. - No, I'm white wine,- Vitya replied, taking a bottle of semi-dry wine. - I thought there were no girls among us! - Mishka responded with a challenge. - Misha, don't get to the bottom of him, I'll have vodka and juice myself, so as not to fly to the first space flight ahead of time, - I interjected. - Let's have a drink already, otherwise you are pouring for three hours, - Max finished the squabble with a glass of vodka. - For the passed certification! The owner of the house raised toast after toast, we ate dishes on both cheeks. To say that it was delicious is to say nothing, it was wonderful! The funniest thing was to look at Mishka and Kirill, who for the first time saw tuna not in a can, but in a salad, and it was also pink in color. Then the salads were replaced by meat, rack of lamb, ribs in sauce, steaks and various grilled vegetables. Freshly cooked fries teased with flavor ..
Hi - been mining for about a month now with a Pro sub (still waiting for Sentinal to be shipped to UK) - great fun although it doesn't heat my house like mining BitCoin did! I have got a couple of reoccuring issues with the app which is really slowing down my mining though.
When I leave my Home Base (with AutoMine switched on) the app doesn't mine any tiles outside of the home base area. I figured out that if I turn automine off and then manually mine a tile outside of home it then works - but is this WAI? (I don't always remeber to do it when going out and miss out on loads of Coin)
Haven't figured a way rounnd this one yet and it is really irratating - I live about 1/2 mile from the edge of Geoclaim boundary. Whenever I drive over or on the boundary (main road annoyingly goes right along it) the app locks up - screen freezes and it appears to stop mining. If I shut down the app and re-open it doesn't log me in and the nfreezes a few seconds later. The only solution is to totally reboot my phone - and then it works and shows up with background mined coin (which is obviously at a lower level then if the app had been open). Anyone else had this problem? Any ideas on fixing it quickly? Obviously itsnot the safest thing to keep shutting and restarting whilst driving!
I’ve been losing sleep. I don’t think I’m particularly special in that regard, I think everyone has been losing sleep these days. A global pandemic tends to do that to people. Yet the thing that has been keeping me awake isn’t the virus. I’ve been losing sleep over an old couch I once crossed paths with. It’s been eight years, I want to believe that I’ve put the past behind me, but being locked in a house for a couple of weeks has made it impossible to not dwell on the past. The memory of the couch started off as a fleeting thought over my morning coffee, but as days have turned into weeks that memory has grown into a distinct vision of madness. What I saw during those three drunken nights in December of 2012 has become an unavoidable part of reality. I can’t rest until I process it. So since we have a nice little Internet campfire going here I figured I would tell you guys a story. Hopefully it will let me put this whole part of my past to rest and maybe it will take your mind off of what is happening outside. So kick back and let me tell you a tale of love and loss, of broken teenage hearts, of surviving in a crumbling world. Let me tell you a story about the couch that tried to seduce me. I was nineteen, hung-over and heartbroken. I was also stuck in a foreign country. Well, to call Estonia a foreign country would be a bit of a long shot, I had lived there for a good five years of my life. It was in Estonia that I lived out most of my teenage years. This was where I had smoked my first cigarette, had my first drink, fell in love for the first time. I was dragged in when I was thirteen by my parents; they had business in Tallinn and wherever they went I went. At eighteen, when my parent’s contracts ran out, I was forced back home. Their business with Estonia was done. Mine was not. By nineteen I was back. As soon as I got off the plane I turned my phone on and checked my messages. She didn’t write to me. My soul, positioned somewhere slightly above my abdomen, twitched in discomfort. It was a familiar twitch, I had felt it in the bus to the airport, I had felt it in the security check, I had felt it when I boarded the flight to Tallinn and as soon as I got off the plane the twitch was back with a vengeance. The discomfort I was feeling in my chest was a realization. It was the realization that I had emptied out most of my already slim bank account on a one-way ticket halfway across the continent to see my old high-school sweetheart who wasn’t interested in seeing me. It was the realization that as much as I consciously knew the trip was a bad idea, I couldn’t resist going. I dragged my feet towards the arrivals hall. When it became obvious that Saale was dodging my messages I panicked. There was no place for me to crash, I had no money for a flight, hell, I had no money for food. As I boarded the plane to Estonia I sent off a panicked text message to my old band-mate: ‘Made horrible mistake. Landing in Tallinn in three hours. Can I crash at yours?’ Within two minutes there was a reply: ‘OK. Will come with Maarja. See you soon.’ Karl wasn’t very chatty, but he was always there when needed. The two of them were waiting for me as soon as I walked out into the arrival hall. They barely changed. Karl was still a giant of man. His long hair had gotten longer and the beard he had rocked since seventeen had gotten thicker, the guy looked like Jesus on steroids if Jesus was really into heavy metal and wore glasses. Next to Karl stood Maarja, she wore a garish yellow coat. The pink streak in her hair she’d been so proud of back in middle school was pinker than ever. “JAAMEEES! YOU’RE BACK!” Maarja yelled in her high-pitched faux-English accent before nearly tackling me to the ground. “It’s been too long honey! Too long!” She hadn’t changed a bit since I left the country. Maarja was still a pint-sized bolt of energy. The two of them made for an odd couple. “Welcome back, Friend,” Karl said after Maarja was done squeezing me. He wasn’t one for physical contact, Karl settled on a simple pat on the shoulder that challenged my entire skeletal structure. The three of us made our way outside to catch a bus to the center. Even after living in Estonia for five years I still wasn’t used to the winters. As soon as we walked out into the sub-zero temperature I felt decidedly like a foreigner. We caught up on the small things while we waited for the bus. Karl and Maarja had officially moved in together, the band that Karl and me started up in high-school had broken up, Maarja was in the process of getting a bachelors degree of psychology and Karl was really into some crypto-currency stuff that went completely over my head. I couldn’t get much out of me; the cold was taking a real toll on my system. Whenever I opened my mouth to talk about my miserable little life I simply ended up chattering my teeth. As soon as we got on the bus I threw myself at the nearest heating vent. “So, James,” Maarja said as soon as we got on the bus, “You still talk to Saale?” When I turned away from the heater to face her she froze, “I mean, we don’t have to talk about, forget I asked.” “Do I look that bad?” While Maarja searched for a diplomatic answer Karl stepped in with his special brand of honesty, “You look very tired and unhappy.” “Well, I am happy to see you guys and I am excited to be here, but, yeah,” I decided to get the conversation out of the way, “We tried two months of long-distance, but Skype only gets you so far. Broke up in late July. After we split we agreed to not talk for a couple of months, to give each other some time to clear the system and all that. Keeping radio silence was hard at first but after a couple of weeks I started to get used to it. I was learning to live without her. Things were starting to straighten up, I even took a stab at dating but when the holidays rolled around the loneliness came back. On Christmas I figured I’d throw Saale a holiday message. She wrote back. We started chatting on a daily basis.” The bus bounced through my old neighborhood. Memories of my drunken youth jumped at me from every corner, most of those memories involved Saale. “Last night we got pretty drunk,” I continued, “Things got flirty. We started talking about what we would do if we weren’t half a continent away from each other. She mentioned her parents were out of town until the end of January on some sort of an anniversary trip. I offered to fly in. She told me I should. Now I’m here.” “She changed her mind?” Karl asked. “She didn’t think I was serious about flying over. Didn’t exactly check with her before I bought the ticket. She flipped out when I got it, told me to get a refund and then hung up on me when I insisted on meeting up. She hasn’t answered any of my messages since.” A part of me felt good to get the story out of my system but saying it out loud just added to the absurdity. I could have not bought the ticket, I could have gotten a refund, I could have not gotten on that plane. Everything could have been avoided, but nineteen year old me leaped at the opportunity for a grand romantic gesture like a hungry animal. “Very strange,” Karl finally said after considering my story. He shot a look over to Maarja, as if she was the ambassador to all women-kind, “Very strange, right?” Maarja shrugged. Maarja’s house was the crown jewel of my high-school social life. It was a three-apartment unit that was built at some point before the world wars. This place was old, as you would walk around the little apartment it would creak, but it made for a perfect party place. Maarja had inherited the apartment from her grandma at sixteen; the Estonians saw child rearing as a fairly independent process. If she couldn’t survive on her own at sixteen she probably couldn’t make it at thirty, a bit of responsibility would prepare her for the frigid world outside. Maarja used her newly found independence to throw the biggest house parties that the neighborhood had ever seen. Maarja’s place was perfect for booze filled gatherings. It was spacious enough to hold any drinking game we could dream up, there was a nice terrace for smoking and the neighbors were either deaf, completely apathetic about teenage drinking or both. As soon as the front door opened I was assaulted by memories. Visions of drunken nights on the floor of the living room, of hung-over mornings of the kitchen; the old apartment breathed with the past. For a split second a wave of gratitude for a youth well spent washed over me, but then I remembered that each of those fond memories had an element I wanted to block out. Most of the fun I had in the apartment had been with Saale by my side. Maarja and Karl still slept on an old mattress on the floor, the walls were still covered with cut outs of boy-bands that Maarja had stuck to the wall in her tweens. The only thing that changed about their bedroom was the addition of a massive computer rig on the table. There were strange ventilators and cooling tubes and blinking lights, the machine looked like something straight out of a sci-fi flick. “That’s my mining rig,” Karl said proudly. I nodded as if I understood what he was talking about. “Where are the rats?” I asked, noticing the empty cage on Maarja’s wardrobe. Back in the day Maarja had two rats, Fritz and The Duchess. She would keep them in the cage most of the time, but whenever the night reached a certain point of drunkenness Maarja would sneak over to her bedroom and come out with the two animals. If you saw Maarja with two rats running up and down her body you knew the night was really going to become a rager. “The Duchess died last week,” Maarja said with a glint of sorrow, “Fritz wasn’t taking it well. Think the little guy was depressed being in the cage all alone, so I’m letting him roam around the house for the time being. Hopefully a bit of freedom will cheer him up.” As if he had heard his name, Fritz peeked out from behind the wardrobe. The albino rat raised his snout in the air, sniffed for a bit and then lumbered off to the living room. The years had taken their toll on Fritz, he no longer moved with the youthful energy I was used to, but the one part of him that I remembered had not changed. Fritz still had balls that were disproportionately giant to his body. As he moved away from us he dragged them behind him with Sisyphean effort. “So, which hostel are you crashing at?” Maarja asked. A lump manifested in my throat. I looked around the cramped apartment. Outside of the mattress there was nowhere for me to sleep. I didn’t have any money for a hostel. “Ah, I’m just kidding. You’re crashing here. We owe you anyway,” Maarja said with good cheer. “For what?” I asked, relieved that I wasn’t homeless. “Financing the booze and cigarettes back in the day, might have ended up a nun if it weren’t for you,” she said with a grin. It was true, throughout high school I had been the main financier of our misadventures, my parents had foreign money and that money went pretty far by Estonian standards. More importantly though; when everyone was sixteen I looked twelve. According to the law of teen streets, the late bloomer provides the dough for those who can buy stuff without ID. “You’ll sleep on the couch, we just haven’t had the time to get it out of the garage. How about you and Karl drag it in while I make some tea?” Even though it was a bright winter day outside the garage was in near darkness. The only thing that illuminated the cramped musty room was a single ray of light shining in through a cracked skylight. The garage was covered in flimsy shelves that buckled beneath the weight of greasy machine parts. In the center of the garage lay a couch shaped object covered with a large, stained cloth. Karl grabbed ahold the cloth and was about to pull it away, but a thought struck him. “James, if I tell you something will you not tell Maarja?” He asked, letting the cloth drop back down to the floor. He looked straight at me; his small eyes were probing me for trustworthiness. “Well, depends on what it is,” I said, “Don’t need help burying a body, right?” “No,” Karl’s intensity broke into a smile, “It is nothing illegal. Just a secret.” He strode towards one of the rickety shelves and plunged his hand deep into its depths. After a moment of rustling he pulled out a small box. He opened it. Even though the garage was dark, and even though the diamond was tiny, you could see a little glimmer. Karl’s eyes shone twice as bright. “Wow man,” I said, realizing how quickly the world was moving on, “Congratulations!” Maarja and Karl would get married and I would be at their wedding alone. As I stood in that garage the thought that I would always be alone gushed dread through my veins. We used to joke about how Saale and me would get hitched before the two of them did. Those jokes felt cruel now. Maarja and Karl would get married and one day Saale would get married too. She would get married to someone who wasn’t me. “I’m really happy for you.” “I want to ask her father soon. He does not like me much, but I think I can show him that I can provide for his daughter. This Bitcoin thing will be big soon James, in a couple of years me and Maarja will be rich.” Karl put the box back into its hiding place. “Promise not to tell her, yes?” “Promise,” I said with as much candor as I could muster, but my mind was elsewhere. My mind was floating disembodied in a bright church, watching my would-be-wife get married to someone else. “James,” Karl’s paw on my shoulder brought me back into reality, “You will be okay. I know you are worried about Saale, but you still have us. We will drink this away.” He smiled. I tried to smile back. “Let’s get this couch, shall we?” He pulled away at the cloth that covered the couch. Enough dust flew off into the air to send us both into a coughing fit. The room danced with dirty particles. Yet from behind the veil of powder I could see it. I could see the couch. The thing was ancient, a couch straight out of the early days of the Soviet Union. Its flowery upholstery was covered in stains that just screamed history. It was as if the piece of furniture had been used for barricades in the defense of Stalingrad and lived to talk about it. Filth filled its rumpled cloth, it stood on firm wooden legs that seemed to have survived multiple generations of being clawed at, it was as if the thing was simply biding its time until its true masters came back to retrieve it. The couch was old, but somehow in that dark garage, in that gust of earthly smoke, there was something alluring about it. It looked ratty but comfortable, even inviting. For a split second I was sure that the couch had winked at me with its cushioning. Then the dust settled and it was just a piece of furniture. Karl grabbed one side of the couch, I grabbed the other and we started to haul the thing towards the living room. We had left the garage, but there was still tension in the air. I was still thinking about Saale getting married to someone who wasn’t me. It was still as if Karl and me were meant to have a serious discussion. Neither of us were comfortable. “I lost my virginity on this couch,” I shared, hoping to relax the situation. Karl grinned, accepting the levity, “Gross.” We dragged the couch to the living room and then joined Maarja in the kitchen. Back in the day her kitchen table was the go-to place to gather before drinking and after drinking. We would sit around and shoot the shit and wait for someone to drop off the booze for the evening or the hung-over pizza for the morning. Yet as we sat there, trying to make small talk, one of the chairs was empty and it made all the difference. I couldn’t focus on anything that was being said around me, all I could think about was how Saale used to sit next to me. All I could think about were her long legs on my lap, her long fiery hair, her laughter. “How about we sweeten the evening with a bit of moonshine?” Maarja asked, as she fished a clear bottle out of the kitchen counter, “Karl and me are going to lunch with my parents tomorrow though, so no hangovers.” Karl cheered on the promise of alcohol, but not even drink could lift my spirits. My eyes shifted from Saale’s empty seat to the couch. All I wanted to do was lie down and fall asleep for a thousand years. “Guys, I appreciate the hospitality but I’m really tired. How about we drink tomorrow?” I said. Karl and Maarja looked concerned, this was the first time they had ever seen me refuse booze. “Are you sure you’re okay honey? We can talk about it if you want to,” Maarja suggested. I insisted I was fine; I just needed to get some rest. That didn’t convince her, but she yielded, “Well, we’ll be in my room if you need us.” Her and Karl shuffled off to her bedroom. I laid down on the couch. From the other room I could hear them talk. Maarja talked in concerned whispers whilst Karl spoke at full volume, it didn’t make much of a difference, even after five years of being in the country I still couldn’t understand Estonian. I could hear my name being mentioned though. They were concerned about the emotional wreck that was crashing on their couch. I dragged my friends into my mess. It was all so humiliating; I was far from home, broke and broken. I wanted to die. ‘Easy there Tiger, don’t think like that,’ a faint voice emerged from the back of my head, ‘Things might not seem great right now, but look on the bright side, at least you’re on a comfortable couch.’ The voice was right; the couch was indeed comfortable. ‘All you need is a bit of a distraction to forget about your broken heart. Some booze, some dope, maybe a bit of love and you’ll be good as new.’ It was as if the suave voice turned a switch in my mind. Suddenly the tightness in my chest eased, a burst of joy started to bubble in my abdomen. My fingers started to trace the sides of the upholstery. The voice giggled, ‘That’s the spirit Tiger, just relax, you’re fine as long as you’re here with me.’ The universe felt lighter, my feelings of dread faded away and were replaced with an electric anticipation. I needed a drink to celebrate. I opened the door to Maarja’s bedroom. She was lounging on the mattress reading a psych textbook. Karl was watching bar graphs on the computer. “Hey guys,” I peeked in, “I feel a bit better now, how about those drinks?” They both grinned. We drank. In the moment I didn’t give much thought to the voice in my head, my internal monologue was turned up a notch since the break-up anyway. I was used to hearing thoughts that I consciously didn’t want to consider; the silky voice that was telling me that things would be okay was a welcome distraction. I sunk into the couch and I let the night carry me away. ‘See Tiger? Isn’t it nice to be here? Isn’t life just swell on this little old couch?’ it would say. I nodded along. We drank more. All thoughts of avoiding hangovers were let go; the liquor poured freely. At some point Maarja emerged out of her room with Fritz on her shoulder. We celebrated the tradition of our youth but the rat was sluggish, far too old to crawl around on her body. After a couple of minutes Maarja gave up on playing with the rat. She put him on the ground. Fritz simply walked around the room dragging his testacles behind him like a ball and chain. We drank more. Karl lumbered up to his feet and went to fetch his guitar. Maarja was out having a cigarette. I was far too comfortable on the couch. Having a moment to myself I watched the rat. Fritz had spent the past couple of minutes roaming the living room and sniffing at my backpack. Yet suddenly something caught his attention, he sniffed at the air, his whiskers bouncing in curiosity. Then he looked towards the couch. The old rat sprung to his hind legs and turned towards me. It was as if his beady eyes were locked to the piece of furniture. ‘Oh Tiger, don’t think about the stupid rat. Look, here comes Karl, let’s stop thinking about stupid things and listen to him play.’ Oh and how he could play. To say that Karl lacked warmth would be an understatement, communicating with the guy often felt like having a conversation with a pile of awkwardly stacked encyclopedias, but as soon as he would bring out the guitar he would ooze personality. Somehow, with those hulking fingers of his, Karl had managed to make the strings sing the gentlest of tones. Maarja and me sang along out of key as the night went on. ‘Just like the good old days, Tiger, you’re here and you’re happy. Focus on the positives, focus on the present,’ the voice told me. I followed the advice, until I couldn’t. It was as if a spell had been broken. As soon as I heard those opening chords, as soon as I realized what Karl was playing my stomach sank. It was that Rolling Stones song. Saale and me had danced to it once upon a time. Memories of our first night together came rushing into my mind. The Saale shaped hole in my heart throbbed with pain. I got up to splash some water on my face. Karl shifted his performance into a serenade for Maarja. The tiles in the bathroom were freezing but I was willing to withstand the pain if it meant I could get further away from the song. I stood there, willing to wait it out, but the memories just kept on floating back. I was standing in the same bathroom I stood in the night that I met Saale. I could see traces of a sixteen-year old in my face. The music kept on building. Saale’s lily perfume filled my nostrils. I could remember the fullness of her lips before our first kiss. The images were cascading on top of each other, ripping away at my sanity, ready to plunge me into a panic attack. But then they stopped. The music stopped. I peeked out of the door. Karl had chucked his guitar over to the side. His serenade had given way to a heavy make out session. Him and Maarja were all over each other. “Guys, I’m going to go out for a cigarette,” I announced. The two of them looked up at me dazed and drunk. “Take the keys honey, I think we’re going to bed.” I hoped that the dial tone would block out Maarja’s moans but it didn’t. Not only did I have to listen to a loving couple have sex, I also had to listen to world’s quietest dial tone as I was reminded that Saale did not want to talk to me. I stood out there in the freezing cold smoking one cigarette after another. It was just me, the starless sky and Maarja’s moans. Karl lasted for a quarter a pack before their bedroom quieted down. I tried calling Saale one more time and then went back inside. By the time I stumbled to the couch I could already hear snoring coming from the bedroom. But there was another sound in the apartment, something much quieter, something I almost didn’t notice. Scratching. Luckily I managed to prop myself up against the couch before I sat on him. As I tried to regain my balance I realized just how drunk I was. Fritz was on the couch, furiously scratching into its upholstery. He looked up at the drunken figure hovering over him for a split second and then went back to work. Those little claws scratched with the ferocity of a pup. It was as if Fritz was two years younger. I picked him up by his scruff and tried taking him off the couch. When I lifted him off the ground the rat seemed confused for just a split second before- ‘Aiiieee’ Fritz screamed the world’s tiniest scream and then bit me in the finger. He dropped to the ground and ran beneath a nearby wardrobe. He hid beneath it and watched me. I was too drunk and tired to care. I laid down on the couch and exhaled. ‘Welcome back Tiger, you look tired. Let me keep you company. Yes, life is hard, but if you really appreciate the moment it can be pretty enjoyable. Lie down here, let me keep you hold you. Let’s get to know each other better.’ I could smell floral perfume. I closed my eyes and drifted off to a deep sleep. (Next part)
The Lemonade Stand: A (Head-canon) story of LibUnity
The Lemonade Stand: a LibUnity story Allies: Miles Clarence Pinnacle II: Sixteen-year-old heir to Pinnacle Products™, dashing, incredibly driven, lazier than a sack of bricks at anything NOT having to do with $$$, not Jewish, skipped a grade and won’t let anyone forget, dirty™ capitalist™ pig™, somehow likes every genre of music at the same time???, American™ dream, SO. FREAKIN. EXTRA., genuinely wants you to follow your dreams and be happy by spending your entire life acquiring wealth, somehow hasn’t gotten punched yet, “patron of the arts” because Salvator Mundi just sold for $450 mil, “buh-buh-buh-buh-BITCOIN!”, wants to be Elon Musk but unironically, raised by 4chan, “God says no, market sells yes”, duality of man, slacks, button-up shirt, vest, Rollie™, sunglasses, the most pretentious shoes you’ve ever seen Leslie (couldn’t afford a middle name mate) Jones: “it’s shite being” British-American, one ethnically crooked tooth, can’t find a consistent ideology, Sex Pistols, petty theft, titty pills, anarchism, fan of the Sex Pistols, sailor mouth Victorian taste, likes incorrectly using British slang, listens to the Sex Pistols, “too nice :)”, makes a really good hummus because it’s not her native food, as “free range kid on free range food,” Oi!, 17 “but I’m not like those other wankers,” the same Sex Pistols shirt everyday even though it has a massive hole in the right arm-pit, always wears union jack bandana, two bits over a meter and a half “tall”, messy brown hair, flower skirt, did she mention she likes the Sex Pistols?, light brown eyes, worn-out chucks, bollocks Mr. Miles Clarence Pinnacle I: America! capitalism, America! sport/s, America! my beautiful family, America! Pinnacle Products™, America! Mrs. Julie Winter Pinnacle: “Sweety have you tried my homemade casserole? All the girls at Bible study loved it! Do you go to Bible study dear? Oh, you should join us next Sunday! Barbara does such a good job at leading discussion about ʰᵒʷ ᴶᵉˢᵘˢ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ᵃᶜᵗᵘᵃˡˡʸ ᵐᵉᵃⁿ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃᵈᶦᶜᵃˡ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵍˢ ʰᵉ ˢᵃʸˢ… Belligerents: l e m o n s, first quarter, moral ambiguity, U.S. housing market Scene 1:Sunny American day in a sunny American neighborhood. Fourteen-year-old Miles Clarence Pinnacle II sets up a shabby lemonade stand (seriously Miles, a lemonade stand? Aren’t you a little too old for this?) (“Money’s money baby 😉”) across the street from a construction site, hawking his newest Pinnacle™ Product™ (or as I like to call it, his newest get-rich-quick scheme) (“Hate the man, not the hustle baby 😉”). Whatever, let’s just see how the market reacts to his newest… hustle. Miles:shouting with comical gesticulation Lemonade! Get your lemonade here! Nothing better after a hard day’s work than a nice, tall, refreshing glass of ice cold… ooo, hear those ice cubes tinkling it’s like straight out of a commercial people… and it’s so uh… refreshing, you wouldn’t believe me unless you tried it yourself! And just think gentlemen, this beverage, this… Pinnacle™ of refreshment can be yours, and only yours, for two small payments of $.50. Truly, this miracle of capitalism could only happen in a land as beautiful and free as the U. S. of A. Now, which one of you lucky gentlemen will be the first to try… Construction worker:gathered around an Igloo™ water cooler Go home Miles, your lemonade sucks. Miles:indignant Hey! My lemonade does not suck! It’s a Pinnacle™ Product™! Construction worker: It’s watered down slop is what it is. I’d rather pay five bucks for water than a dollar for your crap. Miles:dumps out half the glass Care to put your money where your mouth is? Construction worker:raises his third cup of water Nah I’m good Miles. Got all the water I need for free. Miles:grumbling Commie cheapskate. Construction worker:laughs and returns to work Miles:looking down the street for another othersuckerscustomers. Notices a young “girl??” nonchalantly approaching and gestures they/them over Hey, hey, hey, you, kid! “Girl” (maybe?):removes quem’s headphones Who, me? Miles: Well I don’t see any other strapping young men… Leslie: … women… Miles: women this side of the sidewalk, do I? Girl:looks around I… guess not? Miles:puts his arm around her shoulder cause what’s personal space, right? You’re absolutely right! What’s your name kid? Leslie:visibly uncomfortable, but Miles hasn’t gotten the customer satisfaction report yet Leslie. Miles: Well my gender-ambiguous friend, you’ve just walked into the opportunity of a lifetime. Leslie:playing along I have? Miles:with dollar signs in his eyes Absolutely! You have the exclusive hono, of having the first glass of my patented™ home m… assembled! glass of Pinnacle Lemonade!™ A once in a lifetime opportunity that can be yours, and only yours, for one small payment of… Leslie:curtly I’ll try it if you shut up. Miles:silently steps aside and hands her a glass Leslie:s i p p Miles:impatiently Well? How is it? You love it? You love it don’t you? You love it so much you’re speechless. Leslie:grimacing It tastes like, like… Miles: the greatest thing you’ve ever… Leslie: Shite. Miles:the five stages of grief But, but… it’s a Pinnacle Product™… Leslie:tosses it out Tastes like watered-down minute-maid mate. Miles:tries it himself and promptly spits it out. Crashes like the housing market onto the stool, sighing dejectedly Huh…, maybe that’s why I haven’t made first quarter. Leslie:☹ Miles:exploiting™ it I won’t be able to make my first bitcoin investment, and this venture capital failure will haunt my portfolio till the end of my days. My credit will take, I’ll be denied a car loan, potentially rendered homeless… Leslie:rolls eyes anarchically Miles:applying for an Oscar Well, thanks for the feedback. I guess I’ll go back to putting the depression in Depression, broke, friendless, hopeless… Leslie:giving into ancap™ tears™ You know, I have a lemon tree in my backyard, I could bring you some fresh lemons to… Miles:rebounding harder than post-WWII American economy Corner the organic market! Leslie you’re a genius! puts arm around her shoulder again Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, I’m so glad the invisible hand of the market that brought us here together today. Leslie:economically confused It did? Miles: As sure as Adam Smith’s law of supply and demand! Leslie: Who’s Adam Smith? Miles: … >:( Leslie:backing away I’ll just, go get those lemons yea? Miles:frozen like the national unemployment rate ha-ha economic memes so funny She doesn’t know who Adam Smith is. She’s as British as overpriced tea but doesn’t know who Adam Smith is. She probably doesn’t know anything about economics. reflects in smuggling and tax evasion No wonder we revolted. Leslie:returns laden with lemons (try saying that three times fast) Ok! I’ve got them! Miles: Now that’s what I call fast food! Leslie:giggles, dropping all the l e m o n s Oh, sorry sorry! Miles:scurrying to collect future profit No, that one’s on me, I’m a capital pun maker. I inherited it from my dad. Leslie:collecting the lemons for common use It’s alright, at least it was funny. Miles:getting kinda lost in your hazel eyes Leslie, ngl So, uh, wanna come inside and get these squeezed? I mean lemons, squeeze the lemons… you know what I mean. Leslie: Do I? Miles:leading her across the street Let’s hope not. C’mon, I’ll introduce you to the folks. Scene 2:Basically, a Bed, Bath and Beyond kitchen catalog, complete with tiled floor, “Live Laugh Love” signs, and several wine bottles. It’s even got a Golden Retriever named Biscuit. But he’s a good boy yesh you are, yesh you are! Oh yea, and Mr. and Mrs. Pinnacle are here. They’re actually really cool people, if a little American. Miles:barging through the front door with Leslie in tow Mom! Dad! I’m home! Dad:putting down the Wall Street Journal Hey-hey-hey sport, how’s the lemonade stand going?” Miles:with all the false confidence of a failing business We’re venturing into new markets! Mom:wipes off hands on a dish rag Oh, and you brought a friend over! Would you care to introduce us Miles? Miles: Oh yea, Mom, Dad this is Leslie, Leslie uh… Leslie:extending her hand Jones, Leslie Jones. It’s nice to meet you sir, thanks for having me. Dad:shakes her hand. Notices the Union Jack bandana around her neck and decides to get cultural Don’t mention it mate! We’re happy to have you, just don’t tax our tea am I right? laughs in protectionist economic policies. Mom: Miles are you and the queen staying for lunch? Or tea, rather? winking at Leslie Leslie:realizes that Americans have even less subtlety than she expected Dad: Untaxed of course. laughs in Marshall Plan Miles: Sorry mom, my partner and I gotta make first quarter. Dad: First quarter, or the first quarter? Leslie:chuckles Dad:finger guns the one person who laughed at his dad joke Miles: A-ha-ha-ha very funny dad. Just wait until ur next batch of Pinnacle Lemonade™ hits the market. Because you know what’s gonna happen? It’s gonna break the market. And you know why? Because it’s gonna be the best one yet. And you know why? Dad: Because you attached more quality than name to a product? Miles:gesturing between himself and Leslie because it was all his idea obviously, We’ve… got a secret ingredient. Dad: Foreign labor? Miles: No. I’m talking about the best marketing ploy since $.99, “organic.” Show ‘em your lemons Leslie. Leslie:blushingly reveals “her” lemons Dad: Wow, those look fresh, and more importantly, free. “Organic” could work, as long as you’re not false advertising our minute-maid again. Do you have a consistent supply? Miles: We sure do, right partner? Leslie: Uh… yea, we sure do. Dad:getting those proud dad gears turnin’ Well then what’re you waiting for son, time is money! Mom: Feel free to use the juicer Miles. Miles:grabs the juicer then opens the back-door Thanks mom! Let’s go out back Leslie and get lemons juiced! (ok I’ll stop) Mom:gushing as any mother of a friendless child would Oh! It was wonderful to meet you Leslie. You’re so striking I’m surprised I haven’t seen you in the neighborhood before. Do you live nearby? Leslie: Uh yea I live around here yea. Mom: Splendid! Then you simply must come to church with us this Sunday! The neighbors are coming over my signature homemade casserole™ and they have two boys you and Miles’ age that... Leslie:briskly Sorry, my mom and I aren’t big on church. Mom:without missing a beat That’s fine dear, you don’t have to be a believer to go. Why don’t you meet us here at 8 tomorrow, and we can take you with us? Leslie: I don’t think… Mom:places her arm around her shoulder, what’s with Americans and physical contact Splendid! Miles dear, you’ll be sure to introduce Leslie to Hans and Alexy tomorrow, won’t you? Miles: It’s Oliksey mom, and no they’re weirdos. Dad: We’re all Americans son. Miles: Fine. But I don’t think they’re Leslie’s crowd, you know? They’re too… foreign. Leslie:indignantly I can judge their character myself, thank you very much. Dad: See that, everybody’s happy except you Miles. Now, don’t you have money to make? Miles:sweeping her out the door C’mon Leslie let’s goooooo. Leslie:flustered at Miles’ hand position You’d better watch those mitts chav! Scene 3:The suburban boonies, an un-mowed backyard. Leslie’s lost count of how many trials and ERRORS Miles has put her through while trying to find the perfect cocktail. She wouldn’t be as pissed if there was actual alcohol in it, but they’re 14 and Miles wants to get into Yale, so he only drinks Old Fashioneds (as if). Miles:handing Leslie a crystal glass new concoction… whaddya think? Leslie:pushes the headphones further into her ears Christ, Miles. Do I have to try another one? Miles: Oh, c’mon please! This one’s the money I’m tellin’ ya. Leslie: That’s what you said about the last three piss jugs you had me drink. Miles: All part of the capitalist process my dear. Now, if you please? Leslie:takes the suspiciously presentable liquid Oh… bollocks. Leslie:s i p p Hm. Hmm! This is really good! Doesn’t taste like shite this time, what happened? Miles: Four-parts water, two-parts lemon-juice (not his), half part ice, half part sugar, half part mint, and a pinch, a PINCH of ginger. My dear Leslie I present to you, the first ever Pinnacle Beverages Lmt. Product, “The Mile High. Is what happened. 😊 Leslie:genuinely impressed This is really good Miles, and I’m not taking the piss I’d pay good money for this, and that means a lot coming from me. Miles:dollars signs for pupils That’s all I needed to hear, which is why… kneels before her Leslie:blushing like a Victorian aristocrat W-What’re you doing you nuttah! Miles:takes her hand Leslie, I’m prepared to offer you 15, no, 20% stock in Pinnacle Beverages Lmt.™. We’ll make millions Leslie, millions with your organic stock and my technical know-how. Mr. Pinnacle (inside):sees his son proposing to the punk queen Looks like he’s making more than a friend out there honey. Leslie:looks away bashfully Oh yea um,… about that. Miles: We’ll be on billboards across the country! Commercials on prime-time television! We’ll give Coca-Cola a run for their money, we’ll…! Leslie:hesitantly Miles… Miles:checking himself, but not for the right things No, no, you’re right. I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. You were an integral part of this operation and I shouldn’t undercut your contribution, which is why I’m preparing to offer you… retches excuse me, 25% of my company from this day forward. All for the small price of an endless supply of fresh lemons. extends his hand Well friend, what do you say? Leslie:looks at his outstretched hand in guilt I… I can’t. Miles:about to cry Please, please don’t make me say 30%, it’ll break my heart. Leslie: I don’t care about your money, Miles. Miles: Great! 5% then! Leslie:shouting I stole the lemons Miles! Mr. Pinnacle (inside):turning back to his coffee I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Miles:incredulous Y-you’re right. This deal’s so good it’s basically stealing. Leslie: NO Miles. I stole those lemons from a house down the street. My flat won’t let us grow stuff in our place, so I come here to… you know, bridge the gap. Miles:pridefully You should’ve told me Leslie. Stealing violates the NAP, but lying violates our friendship. Leslie:prejudicely Pfft. Morality comes easy to toffs living in a two-story house in the when you live in a two-story house in the burbs. Miles:sincerely We weren’t born into money Leslie. My dad started as a door to door salesman before opening his own company with my mom. He pulled himself up by his bootstraps with wit, determination, and a modest business loan. Leslie:rolls eyes impoverishly Miles: I don’t know who you are, where you come from, your religion, your political ideology or any of that, and I don’t care. I wanna be your friend, and that should be enough. Leslie:lowering her guard You’d be friends with a two-bit thief like me? Miles:with reassuring confidence With a resourceful, unscrupulous marketing queen like you? As sure as Rothbard’s critique of central banking I would! Leslie: Still don’t know what you’re on about but, spits into hand I swear by Sid Vicious’ guitar strings I’ll be your mate if you’ll be mine. Miles:spits into his hand as well Deal. On one condition. Leslie: What’s that? Miles: No more stealing. Not when you’re with me. We’re a team now, and we help each other out right? Leslie: Fine. Guess now that I’ve got stock in a major beverage company I can only go up from here. Miles: Only pure profit from here partner! Leslie: Then let’s shake on it. Miles/Leslie (simultaneously):shaking hands At 20%, 30%. Miles/Leslie: 15%, 25%. Leslie:grips his hand You’re supposed to meet me halfway you greedy pig! Miles:grips hers back You’re supposed to negotiate better you snotty welcher! Leslie:grips him harder than the Federal Reserve Halfway Miles, before I unionize. Miles:surrenders to worker’s rights Fiiiiiine, 20%, final offer. Leslie: pops his knuckles Miles:takes his hand back yelping ow ow ow ow ok ok, 25% 25%. Leslie:smirks like the cocky Brit she is Pleasure doing business with you Miles. Miles:nursing his credit card hand The pleasures all mine. Leslie: Wait, if I can’t steal, how’re we gonna get more lemons? Miles: Well, if we factor in the increased cost of production and labor, we have no choice but to double the price of lemonade then use the excess earnings to re-invest... Leslie:gathering the remaining batches Yea, yea, yea I get it whatever let’s go. Miles:watching her with non-economic curiosity Right behind you, friend. Epilogue Allies: Ernst Hansel Gorbach: German-“Bavarian, but there’s only one Germany”-American, son of retired U.S. general and stay-at-home mother, “By the Kaiser!”, the most hardcore Lutheran you’ll ever meet, Aryan poster-boy, bit of a killjoy, surprisingly good singer, “Hitler was a cuck,” would simp for Wagner, slacks and tucked-in button-up shirt, 6’ 2”, “no hand-holding till marriage >:(,” 18, virgin (obviously), rugby, race-realist, HOI4, “wish I was home uniting the German tribes rn” Belligerents: Teenage insecurity Scene 1:Back on the cruel streets of American suburbia. Leslie:packing up the stand I can’t believe it. Miles:flipping through themodeststack of money That capitalism works? Leslie: No, that people bought lemonade for two quid. Miles: Exactly! Leslie:scoffs Selfish cock-up. Miles:shrugs It’s not selfish if people buy it. Speaking of which, here’s your cut. Leslie:counts it multiple times in disbelief (and poor math skills) Blimey, is this all for me? Miles: It’s eighteen dollars, Leslie. Leslie: That’s more than I’ve made all my life! I’m rightly chuffed I am, wait till my mum hears about this! Miles:smiling I’m glad Leslie, thanks for doing this with me. Leslie:returning the smile Happy to help Miles! Let me know if you ever wanna do… this… again. Ernst Hansel Gorbach enters stage right. Leslie:turns away bashfully after being rendered breathless by Aryan Prime Ernst “Hans”el Gorbach:stops his bike in front of Miles Picking up the pieces of another failed venture, eh Miles? Miles: Ackchyualy my dear Hanso, you just missed the opportunity of a lifetime. My newest creation was a tremendous success. Hans:looking at the shabby remains of a shabby lemonade stand before finally noticing the weird flat-chest I’m sure it was Miles. Who’s your newest sucker partner? Miles: Oh, this is Leslie, my business partner. Say hello, Leslie! Leslie:turns around slowly, avoiding his gaze while robotically extending her hand H-hi. Hans:gives her the once-over before gingerly shaking her dirty hand How do you do. Leslie:turns away as her cheeks turn into a bed of roses Miles:oblivious Hanso, I’m telling ya’ man. This stuff we made, perfection man, perfection. Hans:authoritative snort Is that true, Leslie? Was the stuff actually good this time? Leslie: Uh, y-yea. It was. Hans:race realist eyebrow raise I see. Well, I guess I’ll have to try it some time. Miles: You can try it after church tomorrow. You coming? Hans: Yea, I’ll be there. Is your friend going too? Miles: Nah, I don’t think… Leslie:blurting I’ll be there! Miles:socially confused But I thought you said… Leslie:turns around That I wouldn’t miss it for the world? You bet your arse I did! Hans:momentarily meets her eyes before casually turning away Right. Guess I’ll see you both there. Miles: Yea, I guess you will. Coming for casserole afterwards? Hans:getting back on his bike Sure. Leslie:hot mess I’ll see you there too! Hans:slow nod Cool. Catch you later Miles. It was good meeting you… uh? Leslie: Leslie. Hans:quietly Leslie. See you tomorrow.
(02/03/18) - Saturday A couple days ago, I purchased some 'shrooms' (magic mushrooms for those who aren't familiar with psychedelics) from the dark web. It's crazy how easy it is, all you need to do is load yourself up on some bitcoin, buy a VPN, and wait an amount of days/weeks depending on where the seller is from. According to the market, these were some high potency mushrooms with double the psilocybin (the psychoactive part of the mushrooms - the part that gets you high). I also bought this diary, hoping I can note my trip report down here for you guys. When they arrived on a Friday, I weighed them out to be the correct amount I bought (10 grams in total). Since I had 2 days to recover from my trip, I decided to do it on the day. I had food and drinks on the side so I wouldn't have to leave to pick something up. My 'chill' playlist was ready, and I even had some TV shows ready, though I didn't know how the mushrooms would effect my body. I crushed up 5gs of dried mushrooms into a powder, and mixed it all in with spoonfuls of Nutella. I slathered the now potent chocolate spread all over some bread, and wolfed it down. I'll admit, the texture did made me feel a bit uncomfortable. But afterwards I had no nausea, stomach aches - anything. In fact, I didn't feel anything. At all. A few hours passed and not even a tiny bit of feeling. Did I get ripped off? Maybe I purchased the low potency mushrooms instead by accident. After some minutes I decided to eat the rest of the mushrooms, including the 'mushie dust' left behind in the packaging. This was pointless, and for the rest of the night I felt absolutely nothing. Until I fell asleep. I felt my body sink into my sheets after half an hour of lying in my bed. Now I was standing upright in my dark living room. Something didn't seem right, like a pulsating sense of dread. Like my house, my neighborhood was uneasily quiet; as I normally hear cars speeding by no matter what time of day. The silence ended abruptly, and a discordant sound in the background increased in volume. The tune was off-key and created a harsh, dissonant sound. I flicked the light-switch twice - the electricity wasn't working. I walked upstairs to my bedroom to get away from that harsh, jarring noise. As I opened the door, my heart started to beat more violently. The walls. Bed. Floor. Ceiling. Everything covered in blood. Suddenly, the sound amplified to ear-piercing levels. Almost as if something, or someone was coming up the stairs. I slammed and locked the door; feeling the sudden urge to hide. I quickly slid under my bed, closed my eyes and used my hands to cover my ears from the screeching that was coming from behind the door. Without warning, a loud bang echoed throughout the room. The hinges in the door rattled, and the force was that of a battering ram. The banging became more constant, and it was clear that one of the hinges had already snapped off. All at once, the door flew open and the sound was seized. I opened my eyes. It was morning and the sunlight was already spilling through my window. Thank god everything is back to normal, but that inharmonious sound is still buried in my memory. (06/03) - Wednesday I didn't think I would be updating this diary again. Last night, I had the same dream. This time, the noise was louder and the door broke much more easily. I woke up at the crack of dusk again, just when the door opens in the dream. I need to relax, I can't stress myself out about this. It'll go away. (08/03) - Friday I heard the distorted noise earlier before the end of work. Although it was muffled, I could still hear it clearly. I can't stop thinking about my blood-stained room. (02/04) - Monday I thought I was free. I've decided to see my doctor about this - I can't let this haunt my life. I had the dream again, and her appearance is starting to unfold. Her black dress. Long, bony arms. Sharp, grey fingernails. Even thinking about it puts bumps on the back of my neck. I've noticed that every dream, I have the same feeling. My stomach sinks, my skin feels cold to the touch, and my pupils dilate to accommodate the pitch black room. --- Saw my doctor, was prescribed sleeping pills. I hope these do the trick. (03/04) - Tuesday I actually had a really easy time sleeping last night. No sound, no paranoia, no nightmares. This is the best day I've had in a while. (04/04) - Wednesday These pills really work! I feel so productive and free. Almost a month of torturous vivid dreams, it feels weird to say I had a happy dream last night. I'm definitely picking up another pack of these when I run out. (05/04) - Thursday No dreams, perfect sleep. (06/04) - Friday Had a tiny bit of trouble falling asleep last night, but still no nightmares. (25/07) - Thursday It took me a while to look for this diary - it had been covered by a mound of clothes. I wanted to write this entry because of what happened today. At work, I was sent an unnerving email. There was no subject and everything was written in some gibberish language - apart from the link to a website that was attached. Out of curiosity, I click play. https://vocaroo.com/i/s1fqQZx1UgEB It's the sound. The same fucking sound. I couldn't listen to the whole thing. Within the first couple seconds, I already knew what it was and quickly switched it off. I felt my blood starting to freeze; I don't want those dreams to come back. (29/07) - Monday I'm moving out. I feel like it's very needed, especially after last night. I made sure to take some pills, which proved to be useless. The instant I became conscious in my living room, I jumped up the stairs, 4 steps at a time. I reached for the door handle. It was locked. I could hear whispering coming from inside of the room. I pressed my ear to the door; I could hear the disarraying music begin to fade in. At this point, I became aware of the floorboards creaking behind me. The door still wouldn't budge as her footsteps shuffled closer and closer. As the music stops, I feel her icy grip on my shoulder. I can't continue to live in constant fear for when I will have the next dream. (31/07) - Wednesday Found a house miles away from here. I was due for a change anyway. I'd been living in that apartment for almost a decade now, and my job is very versatile. I can basically transfer to anywhere around the country as it's a huge branch. I just paid my deposit, and I should be moving out next week. I don't think I'll be putting anymore entries in here. Unless I wake up in the living room again. (12/09) - Thursday My landlord called me to pick up some of the things I left back at the house. Completely forgot that I left all of my old college work back there, I rushed things while moving out. I get there and the outside of the apartment looks different. The windows have bars and a mesh screen behind them. The tiles and bricks - given a new paint job. There's a new garden; packed with blossoming flowers and a fountain. Had someone already moved in? I knock on the door and wait a while. No answer. I pull the handle and the door creaks as it opens. The house is empty - no furniture anywhere. Even the kitchen table that came with the apartment, gone. I glance at the wooden stairs where they had taken the carpet off. I head up the stairs, and open my old bedroom door. A foul stench hits me, and my airways seize up. On my old mattress is a rotting corpse, which on further inspection is - or was - my landlord. His head, smashed open with maggots spilling out. A horde of flies swarming his naked body, slowly ripping flesh out of little pockets of his skin. The thing that really stands out to me is that, my old college work is clutched in his hands. The lined paper that had previously been scribbled with notes were soaked entirely in his blood. I can't look anymore. I hear a shrilling noise intensify in the distance, and I realize that everything in the room is coated with chunks of flesh and splashes of blood. I close the door and lock it, but the sound keeps getting louder and louder until it becomes deafening. I can't hear myself think, but I'll be fine. The music suppresses my screams.
[H] Bioshock: The Collection and Other Bundle Extras [W] Assassin's Creed: Origins
So, recently, my friend just gave me some extra games. I'm trying to trade a Bioshock: The Collection key and more if necessary for a AC:O key. Loose Keys - Bioshock: The Collection Deponia: The Complete Collection Bear With Me - Collector's Edition Acceleration of SUGURI 2 Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition Serial Cleaner Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Forged Battalion Pathologic Classic HD Battle Chef Brigade Zombie Night Terror Figment Hard Reset Redux Arma: Gold Edition A Story About My Uncle The Darkside Detective Region of Ruin Teslagrad The Count Lucanor The Last Door Lego: The Lord of the Rings Lego: The Hobbit Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine Snail Racer EXTREME 3D Chess Planetary Annihilation Vertical Drop Heroes HD Reveal Bernackels' Shoggoth Fortified Congo Merc Deadlight The Surprising Adventures of Munchausen Majesty 2 Collection The Flame in the Flood Satellite Reign Else Heart.Break() Shadowrun Returns Egyptian Senet Humble Gift Link - Hearts of Iron IV Clustertruck Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor The Final Station Graveyard Keeper Hello Neighbor Party Hard Party Hard 2 Party Hard: High Crimes Punch Club SpeedRunners Streets of Rogue Age of Wonders III Black The Fall Deadbeat Heroes Goetia Octahedron The Turing Test Assassin's Creed® Origins I'm not a Monster The Journey Down: Chapter Three Monster Prom Wandersong 11-11 Memories Retold Impact Winter Little Nightmares PAC-MAN™ Championship Edition DX+ Project CARS Genital Jousting Highway Blossoms Just Deserts Purrfect Date Sunrider Academy Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy Tangledeep Tangledeep Soundtrack Tooth and Tail Absolver Dandara MINIT Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden Northgard She Remembered Caterpillars Steel Rats Tannenberg 12 is Better Than 6 Alone With You BLACKHOLE Cook, Serve, Delicious! Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Crashlands Don't Sink Kingsway kuso Rivals of Aether Soft Body Solstice Way of the Passive Fist Fight'N Rage Late Shift Paradigm Slipstream Tower Unite Dear Esther: Landmark Edition GoNNER Headlander Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun Treadnauts Aaero Bleed 2 Full Metal Furies Rapture Rejects Rock of Ages 2: Bigger and Boulder Sniper Elite 3 Super Daryl Deluxe Tom Clancy's The Division Tom Clancy's The Division - Survival Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition Penarium Sheltered Worms Clan Wars Animal Super Squad Anomaly 2 Anomaly Defenders Anomaly: Warzone Earth Blacksmith Blade & Bones Board Battlefield Clicker bAdventure Cloudborn Convoy Cube Link Deep Dungeons of Doom Detective Case and Clown Bot in: Murder in the Hotel Lisbon Don't Stand Out Dungeon Escape Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered Flux8 Freaky Awesome Grimm & Tonic Guild Wars: Nightfall GUILTY GEAR Xrd -SIGN- Guns of Icarus Alliance Collector's Edition Hackyzack The Haunting of Billy Hello Pollution! Hyperdrive Massacre Indecision. Kabounce Lakeview Cabin Collection Last Encounter Lost in the Dungeon LOVE Lucius Demake Marvin's Mittens Match Point Mindball Play No Time To Explain Remastered Perfect Heist Race The Sun R-COIL Road Doom Slime-san SPLASH BLAST PANIC Splotches Super Steampunk Pinball 2D Sure Footing Switchblade Starter Pack Temple of Xiala Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit Tower 57 Tross Unit 4 Wizorb Zero G Arena Colt Express Fighting Fantasy Legends Fighting Fantasy Legends Portal King and Assassins Kentucky Route Zero RWBY: Grimm Eclipse War for the Overworld + Heart of Gold DLC Dead Island Definitive Edition The Dwarves Hard Reset Redux Resident Evil Revelations Sniper Elite Sniper Elite V2 Gremlins, Inc. Old Man's Journey We Were Here Too Pathfinder Adventures Sentinels of the Multiverse Sentinels of the Multiverse - Shattered Timelines Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game Talisman: Digital Edition Ticket to Ride - Complete Bundle Bioshock Remastered Friday the 13th How to Survive 2 Layers of Fear Darksiders II: Deathinitive Edition ETHEREAL Forged Battalion Kona 12 is Better than 6 Bear With Me - Collector's Edition Dungeon of the Endless Jalopy NBA Playgrounds Action Henk JYDGE Kingdom: New Lands Shadowrun Returns Laser League Skullgirls Holy Potatoes! We're In Space?! Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City Grand Theft Auto III Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Fortune-499 Filthy, Stinking, Orcs Sanctum 2 Grey Goo Sorcerer King: Rivals Green Man Gaming - CRUSADER KINGS II WARHAMMER END TIMES VERMINTIDE INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US ULTIMATE THE FLAME IN THE FLOOD FROZEN SYNAPSE PRIME BEAT COP SUPER CLOUDBUILT THE LITTLE ACRE INSURGENCY FEAR 3 DEAD AGE MAGICKA SERIAL CLEANER FAHRENHEIT REMASTERED OPERATION FLASHPOINT RED RIVER ROCKET KNIGHT CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW ULTIMATE LEGO BATMAN PUZZLE CHRONICLES RAGE CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW 2 CASTLEVANIA LORDS OF SHADOW MIRROR FATE QUARANTINE EVIL GENIUS METAL GEAR RISING BIOZONE ADR1FT METAL GEAR SOLID V GROUND ZEROES Fanatical - Antiquia Lost Forward to the Sky Shuyan Saga Steel Vampire Strikey Sisters XBlaze Code: Embryo Arcana Heart 3 LOVE MAX!!!! Guilty Gear Isuka Guilty Gear X2 #Reload INFERNO CLIMBER UNDER NIGHT IN-BIRTH Exe:Late Asura: Vengeance Expansion Fantasy Versus Lifeless Planet Premier Edition Masquerada: Songs and Shadows Oriental Empires Republique Smoke and Sacrifice Snake Pass Tracks - The Train Set Game Ziggurat BEEP DRAGON: A Game About a Dragon Destiny Warriors RPG Gun Rocket Labyronia RPG Labyronia RPG 2 LocoSoccer Out There Somewhere Storm of Spears RPG Subterra Sun Blast: Star Fighter The Odyssey: Winds of Athena Three Heroes Tiny Bridge: Ratventure Crouching Pony Hidden Dragon GAUGE HeartZ: Co-Hope Puzzles Isbarah Poöf Puddle Replay - VHS is not dead Wooden Sen'SeY House of Caravan Cultures Northland Splatter Zombie Apocalypse Squirbs Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle Airscape The Fall of Gravity Revolution Ace Labyronia RPG PARTICLE MACE Cultures 8th Wonder of the World Anima Gate of Memories GIBZ Narcosis Old Man's Journey Project Highrise SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy STAR WARS Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast The Low Road The Spatials Dex Figment Hive Jump Jalopy Miasmata PewDiePie: Legend of the Brofist Sky Break THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION Blades of Time Limited Edition Blood Knights Demonicon Drakensang Etherlords I & II GemCraft - Chasing Shadows Heroes of Annihilated Empires Inquisitor Knights and Merchants Lichdom: Battlemage Numen: Contest of Heroes Rune Classic Sudeki Two Worlds II: Velvet Edition Wizardry 6&7 Asteroid Bounty Hunter Charlie's Adventure Cube Runner Duke of Alpha Centauri Fly and Destroy Hungry Flame Neon Space Neon Space 2 ShipLord Slash It Slash It 2 Spin Rush Survive in Space Upside Down Distant Worlds: Universe Heavy Burger Heroes of the Monkey Tavern I am not a Monster Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle SimplePlanes Sword Legacy Omen Throught the Woods White Night Moero Chronicle Moero Chronicle - Deluxe Pack DLC 35MM Band of Defenders Deadlight Distrust Killing Room March of the Living Savage Lands Tharsis This Strange Realm of Mine Valnir Rok Survival RPG Dreamscapes: The Sandman - Premium Edition Dreamscapes: Nightmare's Heir - Premium Edition Sea Legends: Phantasmal Light Collector's Edition Witch's Pranks: Frog's Fortune Collector's Edition Kingdom of Aurelia: Mystery of the Poisoned Dagger Taken Souls: Blood Ritual Collector's Edition Silver Tale A Plot Story Hexus Jane Angel: Templar Mystery Dream Walker Witch's Tales Escape Doodland Mad Dream: Coma Earthworms Clinically Dead Mech Rage Camper Jumper Simulator ESport Manager Darkest Hunters The Sexy Brutale Beholder The Last Door - Collector's Edition The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition Cognition: An Erica Reed Thriller System Shock: Enhanced Edition System Shock 2 Metal Fatigue Spirits of Xanadu Shadow Man I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream Homeworld Remastered Collection Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation PAYDAY 2 Jalopy Hover Figment Subterrain STARWHAL Scribblenauts Unmasked: A DC Comics Adventure Joggernauts The Long Reach Mainlining Coffin Dodgers The Rivers of Alice - Extended Version Zombie Kill of the Week - Reborn The Walking Vegetables Unbox: Newbie's Adventure System Shock: Enhanced Edition UNLOVED Killing Room Sir, You Are Being Hunted Styx: Shards of Darkness STAR WARS - Knights of the Old Republic STAR WARS Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords Shadowrun: Hong Kong - Extended Edition SimCity™ 4 Deluxe Edition STAR WARS™ - The Force Unleashed™ Ultimate Sith Edition METAL SLUG X Oxenfree Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity Fallen Enchantress: Legendary Heroes The Political Machine 2016 The Corporate Machine Sorcerer King: Rivals Demigod Go! Go! Nippon! ~My First Trip to Japan~ March of the Living Four Sided Fantasy Dungeon Rushers The Invisible Hours Dead Secret The Free Ones HIVESWAP: Act 1 Castle of no Escape 2 Galactic Lords W4RR-i/o-RS Nogibator: Way Of Legs WN - ShP Fairy Lands: Rinka and the Fairy Gems Drill Arena Walhall Er-Spectro Risky Rescue Frederic: Evil Strikes Back 16bit Trader Midnight Mysteries Midnight Mysteries 4: Haunted Houdini Zombie Bowl-o-Rama Little Farm Silver Knight ANKI Lift It 3 Coins At School Deep Eclipse: New Space Odyssey Green Ranch The lost joystick UBERMOSH Vol. 5 Trip to Vinelands TTV2 SWARMRIDER OMEGA UBERMOSH UBERMOSH:BLACK UBERMOSH Vol.3 Iesabel Daemonsgate Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection Prophecy I - The Viking Child Drakkhen Hostage: Rescue Mission King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok Eternam Chaos Control Bubble Ghost Mystical Alien Rampage Frederic: Resurrection of Music Teddy Floppy Ear - Mountain Adventure Teddy Floppy Ear - Kayaking Millie Sparkle 2 Evo Story of the Survivor SharpShooter3D Goodbye My King Watch This! 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